Conquering My Fears (and Other Things)

There have been so many times in the last few weeks when I have wanted to write, but the desire always seems to strike me at the most inopportune times. By the time I’m home and we’ve eaten dinner and homework and chores are done and the little one is tucked into bed, I seem to have lost my muse most evenings.

The biggest news in the last few weeks has been Ryan’s dad’s health. He was having extreme chest pains and was admitted to the hospital, where matters quickly became very serious. Ryan flew down to Florida last weekend to be with his dad and family and came back Wednesday night. The immediate danger is gone for now, but the truth is that we are facing the reality that our parents won’t be with us forever. Ryan already lost his mom when he was 13, but I guess we’ve always assumed that our parents will be with us for another 20 or 30 years.

The older we get, the more our views on aging seem to change. For instance, when I was little, I thought 60 was old! But now that my parents are in their 60s, I no longer think that. Even my active and energetic grandma at the age of 81 seems younger than I once pictured 81 to be.

Justin Bieber’s mom is 34. Now that’s scary. Someone my age dealing with her child being an international heart throb? I feel way too young for that. But I digress.

I’ve been dealing a lot lately with this fear of losing people we love. I would cry just thinking about the fact that my father-in-law’s health issues were so serious. I’ve always been emotional, and honestly, it’s embarrassing how easy it is for me to cry -- I recently broke down in tears/sobs while interviewing a lady for a magazine article about infertility and adoption. It was so unprofessional and embarrassing!!!

So in the midst of all this, God brought to my remembrance that scripture in 1 Thessalonians 4:13 about “mourning as those who have no hope.” I do have hope. So why am I acting as though I don’t? Why am I acting as though the world would end if someone died? And they haven’t even died yet! My tears are way head of the game. It’s crazy.

Take it from me: fear can be crippling. There’s nothing more twisted than the game Satan plays with our minds, creating scenarios of horror that don’t even really exist. When I’m desperately afraid of something, it becomes impossible for me to focus on anything else, as long as I let fear have its way with me.

But…

“Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”    – Philippians 4:8

This is what I’m learning to do. After all, God didn’t give me a spirit of fear but of power and of love and of a sound mind!

He is in control. There’s no reason for me to go crazy worrying about it. I must let Him be Lord over my emotions.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ryley had a teacher in-service day on Friday, so Ryan took her to see the pirate exhibit at the Denver Museum of Nature and Science.

It’s not that I don’t like museums, but really I do get more bored than my husband would like me to. :-)  It’s definitely a Ry-day sort of activity.

She came home all pumped up about pirates:

Pirate gear included, I really like this picture! :-)

She’s definitely a daddy’s girl.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In her love for science, Ryley has recently decided she wants to be a meteorologist when she grows up. She and Ryan even set up a vase full of water in the kitchen so they can chart the rate of evaporation.

So when she had to fill out a poster about herself this weekend, this is what we came up with:

It was all her idea. She’s so proud of it! Ha!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And today was the last day of the Girl Scout cookie sale. Mommy is soooo glad that’s over. :-)

We worked two cookie booths at grocery stores. It was cool to see Ryley become so confident in asking people to buy, but it was sad how many people actually ignored her and walked by, pretending they didn’t hear. But it’s good for her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I pulled out my back/hip a week ago, so our house is a mess, and I feel largely unproductive. But I can only do what I can do, right? It’s been long enough now, though, that I am thinking I should probably see a doctor about it.

In the meantime, we are totally hooked on this hilarious video. Ryan and I almost know all the words we’ve watched it so many times:

Happy Daylight Savings! :-)