Looking for Miracles

When I let Emma in the front door for her piano lesson tonight, there was no snow on the ground. But when I let Emma out 30 minutes later, a half inch of snow had appeared in the meantime. Craziness. I had forgotten it was supposed to snow this evening. I wish I’d thought ahead and bought firewood.

Last week, on Wednesday, we woke up to a couple inches of snow. We ventured out to go to school, and by the time we made it out of our neighborhood and onto the main road, I had made peace with the fact that we were going to be late. The roads were icier than normal (we found out later that the city had neglected to sand them because of budget cuts). Still, I don’t like traffic, and I felt like I could cut through this little neighborhood and save ourselves a few minutes, so I did.

Bad decision.

I slid down a hill and into the landscaping of someone’s front yard. There were tracks from somebody before me, and since I didn’t see any real damage, I backed out of the lawn and continued on my way. I told Ryley we needed to pray for protection, and she did. Twenty seconds later, as I was exiting the neighborhood and approaching the main road, I found myself losing control. I pumped my brakes and called out, “Jesus! Jesus! Jesus!” as we slid right into the intersection where our van was promptly hit by an oncoming car.

You know that moment when you know you’re going to be hit and you’re just waiting for it?  It was the longest second of my life.

I’m so glad we’re ok… that the man in the other car was ok. It could have been so much worse. I know God protected us. The other driver had minimal damage, but our van wheel was bent at a slight angle, and Ryley and I waited four hours at that intersection in the falling snow for a tow truck and rental car.  We walked over to the corner convenience store for coffee and Fanta. Poor Ryley was such a trooper! She ate her lunch, and after two hours, I cried.

The good people of Hertz finally came to pick us up and took us to their shop, where lo and behold, it was discovered that my driver’s license had expired on my birthday two months ago! I was in disbelief. I am just not that person.

The Hertz worker turned to his manager and asked, “What do I do?”

“You can take her down to the DMV and have her renew her license,” the manager answered snottily, as if I were a piece of trash.

Here I’m standing at the counter with my eight-year-old daughter, whose heavy backpack is strapped to her back, my phone is about to die, our van is being towed, and I still have to get to work so I can run payroll. I’m not going to have some stranger take us down to the DMV and leave us there.

“Absolutely not!” I answered. “Not today.”

With my last few minutes of cell phone juice, I called and gave an update to Ryan, whose restaurant had been busy with a surprise visit from the health inspector. Of all days! He said he would come as soon as he could. In the meantime, my good friend Kathy came by on her lunch hour and drove us to Ryley’s school so we could drop her off five hours late!

So Ryan rented the car, and I took his car and headed to work where I renewed my driver’s license online in about 5 minutes (take that, Hertz lady!), ran payroll, and decided to call it a day.

When we got home that evening, we discovered that our dog Juliet had had diarrhea all over the floor. What a great way to end our drama-filled day!!!! Haha!

The van is very possibly totaled. The rear axel has to be replaced, and there are multiple internal issues as well. I just can’t think about that right now. We will hear our insurance company’s decision tomorrow. Part of us wants a new van because of all the other issues it’s had recently; but we also don’t want another monthly payment. God is in control. He’s already written that part of the story, even though we’re not in on that part of the plot just yet. :-)

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Wellness Update… I am continuing on with the dietary adjustments. I don’t eat wheat of any kind (bread, pastas, etc.). Also, no sugar, pop, milk, ice cream, or processed foods. I still take two dietary supplements that reduce inflammation, and I drink as much water each day as I possibly can.

I’ve lost 35 pounds total since September 18; I made up for the ground I lost over the holidays and then lost another 5 lbs on top of that. My goal is to lose 25 more pounds by the end of March, averaging 10 pounds per month. Then I’ll set another goal after that. Baby steps… :-)

The thing with weight loss is that it is a little addictive (not in a bad way). When you get that jump start and then start seeing some progress, (and in my case start feeling better, fitting into restaurant booths, fitting into smaller sizes, etc.) you want to keep it up.

I don’t feel like I’m depriving myself of delicious foods. I’m discovering that I really like good, marinated meat. I like fruit, and I actually like walnuts and almonds. I don’t like salads, so I don’t eat them. The one thing I really miss is pasta, but I’ve started liking pho (which has rice noodles), and Noodles and Co. will substitute rice noodles in any dish. And because I still allow myself corn tortillas, tacos, and tortilla chips, I have the occasional burrito bowl at Chipotle with chips, salsa, and guacamole. If Ryan and Ryley are dead-set on fast-food, I usually can talk them into Wendy’s where I get a bowl of chili. It’s not like I’m starving myself.

It might be surprising to some and even sound a little silly that, after eight years, we haven’t given up on the idea of having more children. Ryley still prays for a sibling every night, just as she has for the last five years. It breaks my heart every time.

I can’t remember if I’ve shared about this or not, but last summer, we attended two informational meetings about adoption – one with our county and one with an agency. We came away so discouraged and overwhelmed by the process, the cost, etc. I guess I feel that by making these dietary changes and becoming healthier, I am giving my body one last shot at getting pregnant. At least then, even if we’re not successful, we’ll know we tried, and we can prayerfully move on to the next option. And I won’t have any regrets.

But in my heart, I still believe it can happen. I still believe in miracles.

Even though we’re half-joking when we dream about our family 10-15 years down the road, Ryan’s taken to calling our future children by name. He is, as the Bible says, “calling things that are not as though they were.”

I know we sound crazy and radical and “out there.” But I’ve been thinking a lot about miracles recently…how our society is so conditioned to think of the supernatural as ridiculous. We are so caught up in the black and white, and we forget that there is a whole other dimension. We forget that David killed Goliath. We forget that God consumed a soaking wet altar with fire from heaven. We forget that He shut the lions’ mouths and turned water into wine. We serve the very same God that did all of those things, and He never changes.

Ryley asked me the other day what it meant that Abraham’s wife Sarah was too old to have children (before she ended up with Isaac), and I found myself explaining menopause (!!!) and then thinking to myself what a tremendous miracle that was that God performed…and it is the very same one that I ask God for all the time. Isn’t it interesting that I had forgotten about Sarah?? How easily we forget!

So, if you didn’t think I was crazy before now, this might clinch it for you: I don’t think it was a “halo” that appeared over the Broncos stadium a week ago, but I do wonder if it may have been the visible glory of God…. Ryan and I watched a documentary where Tim Tebow was mic’d up for a game, and he was literally singing praise and worship songs on the field as he played. It was amazing. The Bible says that “God inhabits the praises of His people.” So if the quarterback is singing God’s praises, and God lives in those praises…well, I told you, I’m becoming a bit radical. :-)

I’m almost embarrassed to admit it. Haha. This is definitely new territory for me.

I love our new church because for so many years I have been complacent about my faith….content to sit and enjoy it and do nothing else with it. I am not a “street-witnesser,” by any means. I’ve been pretty reserved and conservative in my Christianity. But suddenly, my view of the world is broader, and I feel challenged to do more to spread the love of Jesus. We’re forcing ourselves to take part in more church-related outreaches. We’re becoming more open and more outspoken about our faith in our workplaces. This is an area of growth that I really need, and though it’s not fun, and I feel stretched, I am grateful for how God is continually expanding my heart.

Our church, though new and tiny, is globally-minded, and I love being challenged to think about how God makes Himself real within cultures around the world. We tend to bottle Him up into our American version, but there is so much more to Him than that….

He is so much bigger and broader and multi-dimensional and more capable than we give Him credit for.

He is more wonderful than we can ever even imagine.

I’m terrible at writing endings, so I’m just going to leave it at that.

:-)