On Weirdness and Grace

It’s been a very, very weird few days for our family.

On Thursday, when I went to pick Ryley up from her after-school Odyssey of the Mind club, I was met in the pick-up line by a grinning girl carrying a cardboard house almost bigger than she is!

“I get to paint this by Monday!”

Upon further investigation I learned that she had volunteered herself to paint it, and she had also volunteered our decorative sofa pillows (which I found out by discovering a pile of sofa pillows by the front door, ready to go). As annoyed as we were at the entire project, I’m glad she feels enough support from us to feel the freedom to volunteer herself for things. :-)

So Saturday morning, she painted.

One of the stipulations of the project is that the students are to receive absolutely no parental help in any form. That is very, very difficult. But she did it.

The chimney is actually being re-done by another student because it was discovered that I had assisted with the hot glue gun, which I guess is considered to be too much parental help.

Also, when we delivered the house to the school, it was caught in a gust of wind and blew into three pieces across the parking lot. But all was recovered.

Her group is showing their skit on Thursday evening at the school; then they compete on March 17.

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On Sunday, after church, I was in charge of running one of Ryley’s Girl Scout troop’s cookie sales at a grocery store.

This picture cracks me up because everyone looks fairly happy still. But we had one little girl who couldn’t handle standing, or didn’t feel good, or felt like another Scout was stealing the show, or I don’t know what. I never was very clear on what triggered it. But about 30 minutes in, a massive fit took place, which lasted for the next hour and a half. I have never felt so horrified and miserable and embarrassed in my entire life.

It was the cookie booth from hell.

As if it’s not bad enough to have to stand there for 3.5 hours feeling the rejection, right?

We had people passing our booth and rolling their eyes and doing double-takes at the attitude being displayed. Thank goodness Ryan was there, and he finally took her outside to wait for her family.

Anyway, the entire thing was a good learning experience for me, I suppose. It was mentally draining, however, and it’s taken a few days for me to get over my anger.

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I’ve been dealing with anger a lot recently…anger with teachers when I feel they’re being unfair or merciless…anger with other parents who try to be hotshots…anger with Ryley’s friends or a certain little Girl Scout…anger with snotty customers at work….  What happens most often is that I get angry with people who are legalistic…who aren’t extending the grace and mercy we’ve experienced in Christ. But what’s interesting is that they’re not Christians, so why am I expecting them to live in grace that they know nothing about? Isn’t that what I should be showing them, instead of getting so angry with them? Funny how that works.

Then God reminded me that I should be praying for those who persecute us.

I have not been good about that at all, and now I’m trying to remember to be better about it. Instead of getting angry, I need to put it in perspective and realize that the way they handled the situation is due to a lack of Christ in their lives. They, too, need the light and life of Jesus, and my non-angry reaction can play a part in that.

Ughhhh. Right? :-)

I am so tired of pointless rules and rigmarole. Rules for the sake of rules. Obsession with the letter of the law, rather than the spirit of the law. Rules make me angry!!! :-) I often think back to my college days, and I am a different person than the submissive student who bought into all the legalism. I remember one time, as a 22-year-old graduate starting my new job in the PR department, being told that it was not acceptable for me to go without pantyhose under my skirts. This was a school that already required women to wear skirts, and on 110-degree days with 100% humidity and my overweight thighs rubbing together, pantyhose was the last thing I wanted to wear! If someone told me that today, I would have a completely different reaction.

He whom Christ has set free is free indeed. I just keep thinking about that…

I have specifically been trying to extend grace to Ryley, within reason. She has had a great year extra-curricularly, but her classroom experience has been tough. Sometimes, when she gets home, she just needs my love.

I once heard it said that we need to constantly be building our children up…. that the world will take so much out of our kids, that we can’t build them up enough. I didn’t agree with that statement at first because I thought it was an excuse not to discipline. But in the last few months, I’ve come to believe that it’s partially true.

Ryley had an exceptionally bad day at school a couple of weeks ago, and her teacher had her call me to tell me about all that she had done wrong. Well, while the things she did were not right, I also didn’t feel like the world was coming to an end because of them. She was so embarrassed at having to call me, and I was tough with her on the phone. When school was over and I was picking her up, she came running toward the van, and when she got inside, she just melted into tears in fear of what I was going to do. She just wailed and wailed that it was such a bad day!!! I let her get it out for a minute, then I handed her a cookie.

“Oh, Mommy! This is the best thing that’s happened to me all day!”

I just felt that in that particular moment, Ryley needed me on her side.

Like that song says, “I knew you were on my side, even when I wrong.”

I can’t do that every day; I don’t want her to blow off her teachers’ discipline or think that she can get away with things. But I’m learning to be sensitive to what she needs in that moment. I’m learning to extend grace.

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Continuing back to the weirdness, I reported to Court today for the accident I was in in January. Ryan went with me, though he wasn’t allowed in the actual courtroom. It turned out to be an interesting experience overall, and it served to prove how crooked our justice system really is. In order to plead “not guilty,” which I had always intended, I would have had to schedule an actual trial-by-jury for a later date and either hire an attorney or represent myself. But if I accepted their bargain and pled guilty, I would maintain my clean driving record but have to pay a fine. I chose the latter because I just didn’t want to deal with it anymore. It’s a hefty fine too. Ughhh. It was hard because I had to make the decision without consulting Ryan.  Is it wrong that I played along with their system, even though I feel that I’m innocent? It just seems over-the-top for a traffic accident caused by weather.

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Ryan is working late tonight; Tuesdays are kind of my one night to myself anymore. I think I’ll turn on Downton Abbey and pray that the wind doesn’t blow the house down around us. :-)

Good night!