How We Got From 5,300 Colleges to One

The moment we'd been waiting for arrived when we least expected it--and not at all how I imagined. 

Since September, every Thursday has been "HER Day" at our house for Hannah, Egla, and Ryley (aka H.E.R.). It's the designated day where these three besties try to cram a week's worth of missed in-person socialization into 8-10 hours. I'm eternally thankful that the other girls' families have been as dedicated to it as we; Ryley looks forward to it all week. They sprawl out all over our living room and attend classes on their laptops--separately but together. Then, around lunchtime they'll head to the thrift store or to get boba or to meet another friend for pho, then come back home for more online classes, movies, and general shenanigans.

Anyway, so it was HER Day, and they had just finished gallivanting around Aurora, getting a haircut, and hanging out in Barnes & Noble. Around 6 p.m., just as the sky was getting dark, Ryan and I came home to see police officers sneaking up on the house across the street from us. There's always been drama going down over there, and we have watched many a transaction transpire over the years. (In the week since, they've been evicted! Story for another time). So, of course, we assumed our nosy neighbor routine; we went inside, turned off the lights, opened the front window, and called the girls up to watch.

We were all squished up by the window in the dark, whispering, and trying hard to make out what was being said, but the situation fizzled, ending peacefully. I leaned back on the sofa, and absentmindedly, I opened my phone and clicked on my email. At the top of my inbox was an email from Baylor University:

"We have a special message for you!" it read.

I swiped to open: "Log in to your goBaylor account to see a special message from Baylor regarding your application status."

I could feel the rush of adrenaline. Ryley and her friends were still gathered on the carpet, chatting a mile a minute. 

One of the biggest frustrations about digital college admissions is that Ryley alone has the login info to her multiple accounts, so we're dependent upon her for updates. 

"Ryley, check your email," I urged, my voice shaking.

She pulled out her phone, took a look, and jumped to her feet to go get her laptop. And then the laptop was almost dead so she had to find her charge cord. And then we had to wait for it to boot up. You know how it goes. 

Meanwhile, H&E had gone back down to the family room, and because I watch a lot of internet, and Baylor is Ryley's first choice, I readied my phone to record her reaction in a video.

"No, Mom. Don't record, please," she said, while Ryan shook his head and shot me a disapproving glance. 

"Come on, guys. Please?"

"No," she answered firmly.

So the moment will be fixed in the memories of the three of us alone. (Not my fault.)

With Ryan looking over her shoulder, Ryley logged into her Baylor dashboard and was greeted by an animated display of fireworks and the words "Ryley, you're accepted!" It caught her off guard, and she sucked in her breath in excitement. 

"Heeeeey! Congratulations!" Ryan cheered, reaching over to give her a hug and a peck on the cheek.

She beamed, and we told her again and again how proud we are. After all, Baylor only accepts 45% of applicants, and it's, by far, the most prestigious school she applied to. Her friends were there to celebrate too, and after they left, she called her grandparents, who were possibly even more proud and excited than we. 😉

***

Now that all of the acceptance letters had arrived, I was suddenly hit with an unexpected worry: how she'd be able to pay for any college at all. 

We'd been working diligently toward the goal of getting into colleges for so long ... The applications alone had been such a chore. And then the visits. And then the long wait for admissions letters. We hadn't wanted to put the cart before the horse. But now it was time to think about the money.

Anxiety over money (or lack thereof) used to plague me constantly. But in recent years, I've been fairly free of worry in general. I've gained new confidence in the fact that God always takes care of us and that there's nothing that my anxiety can do to change the situation. I've seen Him work things out in our lives again and again and again. Now, though, I felt that familiar darkness come rushing back and a rock forming in the pit of my stomach.

Ryley is super-bright, and we are thankful that she's been offered generous academic scholarships at every college. But these days, unless you're extremely, extremely gifted (we're talking crazy-smart), the much-talked-about "full ride" doesn't seem to exist. And each school has its own special scholarship program that you have to apply for separately--a program that, if you're accepted to, will require interviews and a much higher level of finesse under pressure just for the privilege of competing for scholarships. 

Ryley was accepted to Seattle Pacific's scholarship competition and went through that whole process in January--virtual interview, virtual lecture with panel discussion, etc. But she hadn't yet heard back.

So what about the kids that are just of average grades? Are their parents millionaires? One school quoted that Ryan and I would have to pay $2200 a month (after her scholarship was applied) if she didn't want to take out loans. Um, WHAT???

We're not against loans. But we are, I believe, against $100,000+ in loans! 

Ryley had been awarded a generous merit scholarship with her Baylor admission, but the remaining amount still seemed insurmountable. So we prayed for a miracle.

***

The process of choosing a college is overwhelming. There are 5,300 colleges in the nation, and some, of course, aren't an option. But what if you overlook a good, viable option by accident? 

Three years ago, we started attending college fairs with Ryley. Approximately 160 colleges were represented, each with their own booth. We went up and down the aisles, trying not to make eye contact with the reps for "lame" colleges, and waiting in line for the chance to talk to someone at the "cool" colleges. Ryley was drawn to nearly any school in the Northwest ... George Fox University and Seattle Pacific were two favorites. But I remember her having a particular attachment to a tiny college in Alaska and then another one in Hawaii. She spent lots of time letting those reps talk her ear off about their offerings while she imagined her new parent-free life outside the continental U.S.

"Um, no," I said. "You're not going to a school in Alaska that only has an enrollment of 300 students. That's a waste of time and money."

I might be a bit opinionated.

But then, for the next three years, our mailbox and email inboxes overflowed with information from colleges we've never heard of -- Knox College, Willamette University, Hofstra University, Sierra Nevada University, Dixie State University in, um ... Utah? I'd stack mailers on the stairs for her to take up next time she went to her room; but they sat and sat until I threw them away. 

With thousands of colleges across the nation, how do you ever narrow it down to a handful--and then to one? What if a wonderful future awaits Ryley at Hofstra? What if throwing away their brochure is limiting all the possibilities? 

Two things were for certain--Ryley was wholly against any school that was a "college" and not a "university," and she would refuse to look at anything in the entire state of Texas.

Last spring, I convinced her to go to an overnight college visit at Ryan's and my alma mater in Tulsa. She was painfully clear that she would not be attending ORU, but we told her we just wanted her to see what our college experience was like. She agreed to it, but she had a bit of an attitude the whole weekend.

We had planned to visit more colleges in the summer between her junior and senior years, but the pandemic nixed that idea. So, then came September ... and then October. 

"Apply by November 1 for a decision by winter break!" most schools advertised.

But getting our girl to apply anywhere? Not easy.

Ryley has a tendency to ignore and procrastinate when it comes to stuff like this. Deep down, she's a little anxious and sad about the impending life changes, so she pushes it out of her mind as long as she can. Thankfully, Colorado's Free Application Day in mid-October was a good incentive for her to at least apply to the colleges in our state. Even then, she stubbornly refused to apply to a few that I suggested.

One decision we made early on was to eliminate any state colleges that weren't in Colorado. Why should she go to a state college in, say, Kansas or Nebraska, when she could get the equivalent education in Colorado for in-state tuition prices? I don't know if that was good logic. But we had to start eliminating somewhere.

Meanwhile, I reached out to an acquaintance who happens to be a guidance counselor. She gave us a list of suggestions of respected Christian colleges that offered linguistics (Ryley's field of interest), which was a great starting point. Honestly, Ryley wasn't wild about going to a specifically Christian college (not for any other reason than the fact that she likes to be different). But she did her due diligence and researched them. Then, before she actually applied, she narrowed it down even further. She wasn't interested in anything in California, and other than the University of Chicago, she really wasn't wild about any of the options in Illinois (and there were several). At her core, she still liked Seattle Pacific the best.

My mom mentioned Baylor, which had also been on our friend's list. It has a widely respected linguistics program and would only be 1.5 hours from my parents. Plus, it's pretty prestigious, as colleges go.

"I'm not going to Texas," Ryley reiterated. "I'm not. I hate Texas. It's hot; it's humid; it has big bugs. And I hate that 'Texas state pride.'"

Regardless, I contacted Baylor to see if they were doing in-person tours over the Thanksgiving week when we would be in Dallas. They were. I figured, at the very least, it would be another college campus for Ryley to see.

Sometimes my decisions aren't popular with Ryley.

The tour, however, was really impressive. Ryan was sold right away. Baylor has a high level of excitement and energy on its campus, and it operates like a well-oiled machine. Ryley got a free t-shirt, and we were all given free BU masks. We rode on a shuttle around the sprawling grounds, hopping off and on as our guide directed. Ryley barely said a word, except for when our tour guide showed us the bear exhibit. I think she may have cracked a small smile. Later, she made us go back and look at the bear enclosure up-close. :-)

Over the years, I've learned that Ryley needs time to process every experience before she's ready to talk about it. And if we badger her about something, she'll just dig her heels in against it. So we can't push. We have to wait. 

But based on the dismissive attitude I was picking up during our tour, Baylor was not an option. After all, it was in Texas, and her heart was in Seattle.

That night, she got on the phone with her friend Hannah, and they started making plans to visit Seattle Pacific, where they had both applied. They were ready to book their tickets right then and there. I was so frustrated. She was already moving on, and Baylor wasn't even cold in its grave! Looking back, I think seeing a college campus had just inspired her, and she was anxious to visit the others on her list. 

Even so, Baylor percolated in the back of her mind, and about a week after we got back, Ryley decided to apply there just in case. I should never underestimate what's really going on in her head. She thinks deeply about things and holds her cards close to her chest.

We did visit Seattle Pacific in January. But a funny thing happened. While Ryley had had this "image" of SPU on the brain during her entire visit to Baylor, she couldn't get Baylor out of her head the entire time we were at SPU. It was a small and sweet campus--pretty, and built on the side of a hill. But it was painfully quiet. We only saw a handful of students while we were doing our self-guided tour, whereas Baylor's campus had been bustling with activity. That had a big impact on Ryley.

Also, I think SPU has a great marketing department. I had looked at going there 25 years ago, and the picture I had formed in my head was vastly different from reality. We were all disappointed.

Sometime in January, she heard from the University of Colorado--she was being offered admission to their honors program along with a nice scholarship. It lurked as a backup option--a safety net in case nothing else worked out. The offer of the honors program would also give her a place in the honors dorm, which made me feel immediately better about her going to a school with a party reputation.

Meanwhile, for one reason or another, she was crossing other colleges she had been accepted to off her list. Ryan and I began to wonder if there was anywhere else she should apply, since February 1 was most schools' application deadline. But she insisted she was happy with her three choices.

However it happened, somehow we'd managed to weed through thousands of colleges and narrow it down to three.

***

While we waited and waited for Baylor's acceptance letter, Ryley had pretty much decided that--should she be accepted--that's where she wanted to go. She told us she didn't feel good about CU's party school atmosphere, and though she liked SPU, it just didn't feel right either. 

Even though it was in Texas, Baylor was the kind of college experience she was looking for. She could deal with the heat and humidity and "Texas state pride" for a few years, for the sake of a quality education from a respected institution. And she could still come home to Colorado.

Then, within a span of four days:

• She received her acceptance letter and a scholarship to Baylor
• She received a rejection letter from the full-ride scholarship competition at Seattle Pacific
• She heard that a party at CU turned into a riot with students attacking cops

It couldn't have been more clear to her, she said--except for the fact that Baylor was still really expensive. We resigned ourselves to the fact that, over spring break, Ryley would need to apply for every single outside scholarship that she could--and that if God wanted her to go there, He would need to perform a miracle before the registration deadline of May 1.

We have a spreadsheet of outside scholarships for her to apply to; the disheartening thing is that she won't hear if she's won any of them before the deadline. So, then, do we let her commit on May 1 and pay her deposit without knowing how she's going to swing it financially?

No, God would have to make it really clear before then. We kept praying and giving the situation back to Him. 

I emailed the admissions counselor and asked if Ryley took the SAT one more time and improved her score, would it qualify her for any more scholarships. She wrote back that SAT/ACT scores (Ryley took them 4 times, mind you) weren't even considered this year, due to COVID. Scholarships were awarded based on grades. 

Another couple of days went by. There had been an issue with our FAFSA information, which made me nervous.

My imagination always goes wild:

"Well, Mr. and Mrs. Moore, we've never seen anything like your finances. We're gonna have to rescind Ryley's admission."

I kept trying to remind myself that there is nothing so odd about our financial situation that it would keep them from processing her financial aid package.

Thankfully, Ryan looked into it, and it was an easy fix.

Then, it happened. The official Baylor financial aid package arrived, and Ryley had qualified for a second scholarship that was even bigger than the first! Suddenly the price of Baylor (while still requiring some loans) was much more do-able. In fact, it was more affordable than SPU. 

It was a miracle. No other word for it. God had answered our prayers.

Ryley came and showed me the financial aid package, and I hugged her, tears streaming down my cheeks. 

"Oh, Mom. Are you crying? It's okay," she said.

"Oh, sweetie, I'm crying because I'm overwhelmed at God's goodness and love. We didn't even know this scholarship existed!"

We called Ryan at work and shared the exciting news with him. 

And that's how we got from 5,300 colleges, to one. And wouldn't you know it? It's smackdab in the middle of Texas. ;-)

Never underestimate what God can do.