Ryley Stories

1. Ryley has been learning about the American Revolution at school. She loves to impress us with phrases we literally haven't heard in years: "No taxation without representation!" and "The British are coming!" She also feels particular attachment to Betsy Ross and Paul Revere.

So she and Ryan were discussing the Boston Tea Party, and Ryan was pointing out that Canada never had a "revolution" against Britain - that they are still under the Queen to some extent and still pay taxes to the United Kingdom.

Ryley's take on it: "They must really love tea. They paid the taxes - because it's worth it!"

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2. On Sunday afternoon, all I wanted was a good nap on the couch. I love falling asleep to golf...there's something incredibly relaxing about the quiet voices of the announcers. So I got myself all set up with golf on TV, my comfiest blanket, the cordless phone, my iPhone, etc. Then I gave Ryley a head's up that I was planning to take a nap. She was thoughtful for a moment and said:

"After you fall asleep to golf, do you think you could wake up and change the channel for me?"

Needless to say, I changed the channel right then and fell asleep, instead, to Disney Channel's Phineas and Ferb. But I had a sweet girl cuddled with me under the blankets, so I'm not complaining!

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3. We have nicknamed the heck out of our puppy Juliet. We call her Jules, Ju, JuJu, JuJu Bean, etc.

So tonight, when Ryley and I got home, I called out, "Ryley, will you help me get Ju outside?"

Ryley responded, "Mommy, please don't call her Jew. She's not a Jew; she's a Christian!"

Walking on Broken Glass, Egg Shells, Etc.

I realize that I owe this blog multiple pictures and a complete run-down of our trip. All in good time, my friends. Most of you are my Facebook friends and have already seen pictures anyway. :-)

For now, I need to write. Catharsis. Soul-cleansing. Parental debriefing, what have you...

The older she gets, the more I see that Ryley is so much like me. So much. I recognize this fact with joy (the miracle of motherhood to see myself in miniature form) and a little fear (wanting to save her from the heartbreak and pressures I endured by simply being myself!). But seriously. She is emotional, sensitive, sympathetic, inquisitive, worried, quick to cry, eager to please.... She internalizes pain and guilt until she implodes from the pressure. She thinks and processes and imagines...almost too much, I think, for a six-year-old.

The other day, Ryley asked me about cancer. She had heard about it at school and was fighting tears as she asked if eating meat causes cancer. She wanted to know if/how people get better. I explained in limited terms, and then, because I could see the wheels turning in her head (Ryan's mom died of cancer), I reassured her that we don't currently know anybody with cancer. "But what about the man at the Spaghetti Factory?" she asked. I had to think for a minute, but she was right. We had met my great-uncle at the Spaghetti Factory almost four months ago, and he had just finished his treatments. How did she remember that??? Nothing gets past her.

She has difficulty controlling her emotions at school when something goes unexpectedly. She cries when she gets hurt, when she hurts someone, when she gets less than 100% on a test. This is not behavior we encourage!!! On Sunday morning we stayed home from church and read together in the Bible about how to be anxious for nothing...about how God cares for the lilies and the sparrows. Then, on TV, Joel Osteen preached on not making mountains out of molehills. Ryley really connected with that. Some of the things she gets concerned about are really quite petty.

I find myself constantly attempting to strike a balance with her:

....Building her self-esteem, yet being firm in discipline

....Telling her that "her best" is always good enough, but also encouraging her that her best is very good

....Breaking the rebellion, yet respecting and guiding her strong will, her imagination, and her entrepreneurship (she created her own board game [and marketing plan for that board game...we filmed a commercial] over the weekend)

These things are surprisingly intertwined and often go hand-in-hand, which makes it difficult to strike that harmonious balance.

It's literally exhausting.

Funnily enough, one of my employees is "Ryley plus 20 years." She is an incredibly hard worker and is extremely trustworthy. But whenever I need to correct her work, I'm afraid she's going to burst into tears or that I'm going to ruin her day, her week, or her entire year. I am always looking for the nicest way to approach her and show her what can be improved. She can handle difficult customers with no problem, but taking criticism from the people she aims to please seems to be very hard for her. And honestly, I can relate to that because I've been there. But I am constantly walking on egg shells.

It's almost like playing mind games sometimes...With both Ryley and my employee, I find myself planning ahead how I'm going to say something so that it comes across clearly and positively. I think and pray about my words very carefully. These are sensitive ladies, and God gave that quality to them. He uses that. It's my job to foster it in Ryley to become a positive thing; it's my job with my employee to, um, deal with it? Ha. :-)

In the meantime, I put this sticky note on my computer monitor at work:

"All your children will be taught by the Lord, and GREAT shall be the peace of your children." - Isaiah 54:13

I love that. In the end, it's all in God's hands, isn't it?

Great will be Ryley's peace.

Home

So we are home again.

It's taken us a couple of days to become reacquainted with our lives. Ryan has been under the weather due to a run-in with a bad (yet tasty) Mexican omelette. And I have an ear infection from getting too much ocean water in my ears!

Ryley...well, let's just say that the landscape of her face is changed forever, due to about 200 more freckles popping out!!! Cute. :-)

I promise that pictures will be coming soon. We took 850 of them, so it takes hours (that I do not have at the moment) to organize and cut them down into a manageable album size.

But just off the top of my head, I would say that the best day of our trip was Wednesday...the day we took a boat tour to go snorkling. Despite Ryley's tears that the water was too cold, and in spite of the fact that I got stung by five tiny jellyfish, it was the most amazing day. I mean, how often do you get the chance to get stung by jellyfish?Right? And we saw a whale breeching! And dolphins swam alongside our boat! And we danced to happy music on a boat with strangers in the middle of sunny nowhere. LOVED it.

Now that we are home, it all feels like a dream. A beautiful, breathtaking, happy dream. But the good thing is, I do have pictures to prove that it happened, and I think I will look at them forever. :-)

More soon...


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And Away We Go...

The time has come to tell you about a great blessing we have been afforded. A mere 33 hours from now, we will depart for Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, on a dream family vacation.

It seems silly that this is a big deal to us; I know wealthy people do this all the time.

BUT...this trip was given to us. Absolutely. One hundred percent. From the airfare to the five-star resort accommodations to the spending money, this vacation is a blessing/bonus/gift from my bosses to our family. We have been completely overwhelmed. And let me tell you -- it has made the challenges and the increased responsibilities of the last year worth it. :-)

This is where we will be staying. We will be staying in the Grand Mayan Suite. Can you imagine? We've known for four months, and yet we are still overwhelmed, nervous, scared, excited, thrilled, freaked out, etc., etc., etc.

My mom will be joining us there on Tuesday, which will also add to the fun, though we will miss my dad greatly.

We are so, so grateful for my bosses' generosity to us, and we are thankful to God for providing us with a memorable life experience for our little girl. Thank you, Jesus!

Adios!

The "S" Word: A Ryley Story

When I was in third grade, I attended an especially secular public school. One day, my teacher, Mr. Erickson, was talking about his morning routine. He said that there was a specific "S" word that he would often say when he got up in the mornings, and he asked us to guess what it was.

"Sunshine!" I yelled out, butterflies of innocence and love fairly dancing around my blonde pigtails.

"No...not sunshine," he answered. I wonder if he had a small moment of conscience right then. Mmmm, probably not, because he went on to tell us the correct answer to his little query. "When I get up in the mornings, I usually say, "Oh, s---!"

The "S" word. The very one.

My eyes were wide in horror and shock.

And...my parents put me in Christian school the very next year.

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Fast forward 20-some years to Ryley and me cleaning her room this weekend.

Ryley was telling me how her best friend often talks about how this is sexy, and that is sexy, etc., etc.

"Ryley, I would like for you to not talk about being sexy," I said. "She might say that, and that is between her and her mom, but I don't want you to use that word, OK?"

Ryley readily agreed. "OK, I will just call that the 'S' word," she answered.

I couldn't help but smile. "That's a good idea."

"Mom? There is another 'S' word. Did you know that?" Ryley asked.

"Yes, I do know that. Why? Do you know what it is?"

Ryley looked guilty, and I wondered where on earth she would have heard the real "S" word. That's not really the kind of vocabulary we expose her to, unless she would have heard it at school.

She nodded that she did know what it was.

"Do you want to whisper it to me?" I asked, wanting to make sure she and I were on the same page.

She did. So she crossed over and whispered in my ear...

"Stupid."

"Yes," I agreed, trying not to laugh. "That's a naughty word, and we don't ever say that, do we?"

"No," she answered, solemnly.

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And now for a segment we will call "Ryley Narrates Her Life."



She had accidentally burned her arm on the iron yesterday while trying to reach past it to point out something on our wall map. In actuality, she is fine. We also think she is hilarious. :-)

Our Redeemer Lives!

In the last few weeks, God has really laid this word on my heart: redemption.

I love that word. It means that what went wrong will be made right...that there is hope that God is able to do big things, even when we're struggling against the toughest of currents.

It started last week when we were watching LOST. There was something so beautiful about watching the redemption of one of TV's most twisted villains. He was forgiven and adopted...by the very people whose leader he killed. I loved that. You can laugh at me. I will understand. It doesn't change the fact that LOST gave me goosebumps. :-)

But then, God started moving on my heart about my brother Justin and sister-in-law Aly. My baby nephew Jonathan was stillborn a year and a half ago, and they have been tirelessly struggling with infertility ever since. It has been rough on them, to say the least. A rollercoaster ride of emotions and doubts and faith and unanswered questions. As they started this latest procedure (frozen embryo transfer) within the last few weeks, I just started praying for redemption...that God would make it right. We know He works all things together for their good, but we want more than that for them...we want God to restore and make it better than it was before. Justin and Aly need redemption for what they've lost.

Yesterday we received the good report....Not only was the embryo transfer successful (pregnancy!!!), but Aly's hormone levels are so high that they seem to indicate twins. We won't know for sure for another couple of weeks, but wouldn't it be just like God to do that?? To be clear, we are thankful with just one. :-) But the strong, healthy numbers and positive outcome alone seem to be enough redemption already!!!

So this morning, on my way to work, I was praising and thanking God for the miracle of Aly's pregnancy. Absentmindedly, I began to sing, "'Cause I know my Redeemer lives...."

Suddenly, it all became very clear.

Five years ago, when I had my first miscarriage, "Redeemer" by Nicole C. Mullen was the song that got me through it. At the time, I didn't really understand what redemption had to do with my situation, and honestly, I didn't care. But I liked these lines of the song:

"Who taught the sun where to stand in the morning?
And who told the ocean, 'You can only come this far'?
And who showed the moon where to hide 'til evening?
Whose words alone can catch a falling star?"

These words were life-giving to me....They promised me that God is bigger than my situation...that He is the Creator and that the world is so big, and I am so small. He rules the tides. He rules the orbits. He easily rules my body and has a plan for me.

Five years later, I finally get the rest of the song. I get it. He gave me that song then, knowing that I wouldn't really connect with it until today. He gave it to me then, knowing the future...that the five-plus years of waiting for our miracle and mourning with Justin and Aly for their loss would make the message of the song real today.

You can't have redemption without a situation to redeem...Right?

So in the midst of our gladness for Aly and Justin, Ryan's and my hope is renewed as well! This is a season of redemption for our family.

He turns our mourning into dancing. Our Redeemer lives! He lives!

Ryan

I love my husband. I really, really do.

We discovered our old love letters this weekend...the ones I wrote him from Germany, as well as the beautiful poetry he wrote me when we were engaged. In those precious writings, we glimpsed our old selves...our hopeful, dream-filled 20-year-old selves. One letter proposes the grand idea of getting ourselves a nice little flat above an ice cream parlor in Germany, and we would teach English there. Yes, my 20-year-old self used the word "flat." I kind of miss her.

What happened to those dreams? Sure, it was much more "convenient" to stay in the states...It turned out to be just as much "us" to pack up a U-Haul and move to Montana. We don't regret our decisions. In fact, we love the life we've built together. It's very happy. And it's not too late to follow the German dream, I suppose. If we still want it, that is. Just musings....

In the past few days, through the miracle of Facebook, I have been in touch with my first piano teacher, Genie Harris. It has been wonderful reconnecting with her. I took lessons from Genie for four years before moving on to take lessons from Mrs. Orrick for another five years. Where Genie taught me piano basics, chords, and worship accompaniment, Mrs. Orrick helped me perfect my "performance side" through challenging classical pieces. I love them both.

Genie wrote me and told me that Mrs. Orrick's husband had passed away.

So when Ryan got home tonight, I said, "Hey, you know how I had two piano teachers? Well, my second piano teacher's husband died."

Ryan's response: "Oh no! Not Van Orrick! That's so sad."

My love for him tripled right then. He knew, off-hand, the name of my piano teacher's husband.

"How did you know his name?" I asked, in disbelief.

"We've been married a long time," he smiled.

German flat or English cottage or Denver suburban house aside, I live with the love of my life. We are together.

And he is my best friend, for life. :-)


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