A Ryley Story: The Short-Lived Boyfriend Named Chasz

The following conversation from yesterday is true:

Ryley: "Oh, Mommy, I almost forgot to tell you. I had a REALLY good day today. I have a boyfriend!"

Me: "What??? You do?"

Ryley (sheepishly): "Yes."

Me: "So, ok...tell me about it...What's his name? Did he ask you, or how did it happen?"

Ryley: "His name is Chasz."

Me: "What?? Chasz? Spell it..."

Ryley: "C-H-A-S-Z. Chasz."

(Silence for a second while I grab my phone and text Ryan with the newsflash that Ryley has a boyfriend named Chasz. Sounds like a winner!)

Me: "Ok, so how did it happen?"

Ryley: "Weelll...We were lining up to go outside, and he whispered in my ear, 'Ryley, can I tell you a secret?' I said, 'Yes.' He said, 'Will you be my girlfriend?' And I said, 'Well, my mommy and daddy don't want me to have a boyfriend.' And I told him the story about Zachary from kindergarten. I told him all about that. And he said, 'Well, we can keep it a secret. You don't have to tell your parents.' And I didn't want to hurt his feelings and say no, so I decided to say yes and I decided that I would tell you anyway."

Me: "Um, ok....Do you like him? Is he nice? How did it make you feel when he asked you?"

Ryley: "I felt nervous. Well, um, maybe something else too, but I can't think of the word..."

Me: "Maybe excited?"

Ryley: "YES. Nervous and excited, all at the same time."

Me: "Ryley, it was a really good decision to tell us, even though Chasz said not to. Because we don't ever keep secrets from Mommy and Daddy, do we?"

Ryley: "Right. And I don't like to feel all closed up. I like to feel clear. But then later I decided I didn't want to be his girlfriend anymore anyway, but I don't want to hurt his feelings, so I will just pretend to be his girlfriend. Or maybe I will tell him that we should just be friends..."

(When telling my mom later, she actually used the phrase "break up.")

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So tonight I attended Ryley's daycare end-of-summer program. I tapped her on the shoulder and asked her to point Chasz out to me.

"Don't worry, Mom," she said. "I told him we were just going to be friends."

"That's good," I answered, "but I still want to see which one he is."

She pointed to a cute, short kid with unruly brown hair and mischievous brown eyes sitting quietly with his classmates. But during the program, he began to run around the stage hiding behind people and objects while the other kids were singing their praise songs. Chasz was completely out of control!

As we got into the van, I said, "I'm glad you broke up with Chasz today. He seemed like a really disobedient and naughty little boy."

"Why?"

"Well, he was running around the stage while the rest of you were singing," I answered. "He was hiding behind Robert and not doing what he was supposed to be doing."

"No! You're kidding!" Ryley was in absolute shock.

And that is the end of that.