"You can make anything by writing."

-- C. S. Lewis


Tuesday, October 18, 2011

A Few New Things (“We Are Fast-Food People”)

Happy Autumn! Colorado is fully emerged in beautiful fall colors and crisp, cool temperatures right now, and I love it. It’s time for sweaters and socks and chili and (though I know deep down that it’s still too soon) cozy fires in the fireplace.

I got a little crazy a few weeks ago when the leaves first began to change and insisted that Ryley pose for a few pictures outside in the rain before the leaves all fell off the trees and fall was all over.

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But as you can see, fall had just barely begun at that point, and now, weeks later, the leaves are still on the trees, and the colors are even more brilliant than they were. Silly me. These pictures, with their puny amount of branches in gold, look awfully silly. :-)

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Oh, well. :-)

We did come across this little grove one night on our walk, though. Very pretty!

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We’ve experienced lots of “new,” as well as several changes in the last few weeks.

For one, Ryley has decided to join Girl Scouts again, and I was asked to be her Brownie troop’s co-leader. So this weekend, while Ryan and Ryley enjoyed a nice Saturday together, I was stuck at a random church doing Girl Scout leadership training with 100 other Type-A mothers of little girls. :-)  But I know Ryley’s excited for me to be involved. We’ll see how I feel come January when I have hundreds of cases of Girl Scout cookies in our garage. Better yet, we’ll see how Ryan feels at that point. He doesn’t yet know that that’s part of the deal. ;-)

Ryley has also decided to join her school’s after-school Drama Club (which seems to be a really good fit for her), as well as Odyssey of the Mind, which is a group of students that practices “thinking outside the box” to create solutions to a variety of problems. They then compete against other schools in the spring. So suddenly, Ryley is staying after school several days a week doing “extra-curricular activities,” and she’s such a big girl. I know this is only the beginning, and it makes me a little wistful for the days when she was so tiny and cuddly and wanted me to pick her up at 3 p.m. But I’m also glad she likes to be involved in everything. It’s a trait she gets from me. :-)

I have gained a freelance writing opportunity that I am really excited about, writing out people’s Christian testimonies to be published in books that churches will then distribute as witnessing tools in their communities.  It’s actually a really interesting idea.  I am nervously awaiting my first assignment. It’s one thing to edit other people’s writing (what I’m used to!); it’s quite another to be the writer…to have to interview people over the phone for hours and then make sure I accurately and perfectly put their stories into words, only to be edited by others. The challenge excites me and intimidates me all at once. I look forward to getting started.

Since June, we have been attending a different church from the one we’ve been involved in over the past seven years. It all happened very suddenly. We weren’t looking for a change per se. Ryan’s cousin had started a church, Jesus Church, just 10 minutes from our house, and we had heard so many good things about it.  So one Sunday, Ryan was working, and Ryley was throwing some attitude about getting ready, so we were running super late. I just made a quick decision: “You know what? We’re going to do something new today.” And so we went to Jesus Church. And we loved it. And we took Ryan back the next Sunday, and he loved it. And we’ve been there ever since. I haven’t been sure how the switch affects some of the ongoing editing projects I was involved in, like SHINE Magazine, so we’ve been hesitant to commit completely. Until this week. At church on Sunday, we had so many “moments” within the sermon and with the fellowship that just served to release us from our old church. We feel complete peace with our decision to switch. I hope to still be used in those editing projects if I’m able to, but if not, it’s ok. We’re excited about church, and it’s honestly been a long time since I’ve felt that way. Is it ok to be honest about that? And it’s got nothing to do with the old church and has everything to do with me. This is a fresh thing. It reminds me of that scripture: “Behold I will do a new thing, and now it will spring forth.”

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I am 31 days into my “wellness journey.” And boy do I have a lot of thoughts about that. :-) Let’s just say it has been a long 31 days, and there are apparently a lot of reasons why I am fat.

For years, I have made fun (in my head) of skinny people who think those plain cookies with the Hershey's kisses on top are so good. This is my thing: Why bring those to a party, when you could bring gooey chocolate brownies? Or German chocolate bars? Or pretty much anything with whipped cream?

Who seriously prefers an oatmeal raisin cookie to a chocolate chip cookie?

This might sound strange, but I’ve never ever felt guilty for eating something delicious. I feel like I am a connoisseur of fine foods and desserts. There is so much goodness in the world to taste and enjoy. It’s obvious to me that if people are content with these health foods, they haven't been exposed to the amazing foods that I have. How can something ever be too rich? Unfortunately, it seems that my lifetime theme of indulgence caught up with me a long time ago.

It still mystifies me that while I have been eating fried chicken all these years, there have been people stressing and obsessing over whether their flour is white or whole wheat. My nutritionist was pretty much horrified at the amount of pasta that we eat, much less the fact that Ryan works at a restaurant called “Noodles & Company.” She told me she only has spaghetti once every six months because she doesn’t really like it.

Things I've thought we were doing right (mediocre choices maybe, but not unhealthy) disgusted my nutritionist.

Really, I’m learning I have to take all the advice with a grain of salt. ;-)

I told my grandma, “I can’t believe how much I’ve been doing wrong.”

“No, not wrong,” she answered. “Normally.”

Even so, I promised I would do it for 30 days….no breads, pasta, processed foods, sweets, dairy, soda pop, or coffee. I’ve only cheated three times, and those were minor cheats. I’ve been taking three different vitamin supplements and trying to eat much more wholesome foods, like fruits, veggies, nuts, and lean meats, and lots of cilantro, avocado, and cinnamon wherever I can fit them in.

I’m learning to eat to live, not live to eat… to view food as fuel… to "feed" my body, not "stuff" my body. And let me tell you, after 34 years of being me, it is tough to re-train my mindset.

It’s definitely been an education. I had no idea that our grocery store carried flax seed or quinoa or almond milk. Honestly, what are those things? I feel more in touch with our grocery store and more purposeful about my grocery shopping. I’m learning about the merits of protein powders.

I've never been a fad dieter or gone on Weight Watchers. I always knew in my heart that eating naturally was the way to go. It makes sense. God made our bodies; He also made food for it. As my nutritionist says, “Taste and see that the Lord is good.”  The problem is that it all tastes so good!!! I've always known that changing one’s food intake to the way God intended would yield results, but I've never been willing to make the sacrifice.  If it was easy, then everyone would do it.

I know I’m extremely heavy, but you have to understand that I don’t feel like I am. I don't feel fat. Yes, I get tired easily. But overall, when I'm sitting, I don’t feel like a fat slob. I feel beautiful. And I credit that to my loving husband who never makes me feel "less" for all the weight I've gained. I am generally surprised at how I look when I see a picture of myself.

I find it amusing when football commentators say, "Wow, this guy is 220 pounds!" As if it’s so huge. Ha!

Anorexics say that nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. Well, I wouldn’t know. It’s actually kind of hard for me to believe that right now. :-)

I want the results, but I don't want to become one of those people that’s obsessed with losing weight and obsessed with talking about it. I know it’s important to be more in control of my food intake, but at what point does preparing three wholesome meals each day become a version of  my food controlling me? 

I keep promising myself that the drastic changes are only experimental...temporary until we get my body where it needs to be. We're not the kind of people who are going to give up hamburgers and spaghetti longterm. And even if there are things I have to decide to give up forever, I hope that someday I can still appreciate that delicious foods exist without having to partake in them.

I have seen results. I can walk through Walmart without my back hurting. I’ve lost 8 pounds (which doesn’t seem like much to me considering how drastic the changes have been). My skin seems clearer, and I sleep better.

My mom was asking Ryley what we were having for dinner, and this was her response:

"I am so tired of my mom making healthy food! My dad and I don't need to eat healthy. We are fast food people."

:-)

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Here are some images of things we’ve been doing the last few weeks:

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The pumpkin weigh-off at our local nursery

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We went with our friends Rachel and Emma to Secret Keeper Girl, an event aimed at teaching girls to live lives of purity, even from a young age.

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We got to see Tim Tebow’s big 4th quarter comeback at the Broncos game. It was so exciting and fun, even though we lost.

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Ryley set up her own jewelry show in our living room after I had a jewelry party. Very cute!

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Ryley and her daddy spent a day at the science museum.

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And we thoroughly enjoyed the circus!

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Good times!

And good night!

4 comments:

Justinand said...

Good for you Joy!! It's so hard to change a mindset about eating. I can't imagine giving up something forever, but I guess we just have to retrain ourselves! I'm proud of you guys for doing this tough change, even if, as Ryley says, you are fast food people! :-) Too cute!

Way to go on your new projects, writing and Girl scout leader! I know Ryley will love having you be a part of it with her! Tell Ryley that I was in Odyssey of the Mind when I was younger too! What a great fit for her...she sure does have a smart and very creative mind!

Oh, and I love the pic of her with her cup of coffee and book. She looks so grown up!

Love you all!! Can't wait to see you next month!! Thank you so much for hosting!!

Melanie said...

Changing your palate is so difficult! Good luck finding your new normal. You can do it! You'll be so glad you did; not just for you, but for Ryley too!

Beth said...

Joy, I enjoyed your comments on your "wellness journey" so much. So did my husband when I read them to him. :). I relate to many of your thoughts and feelings on the subject. I'm all for health, but not for bondage to food. I know there has to be a balance in there somewhere. Hope you can glean a lot of helpfulness from the woman who has the nerve to dislike spaghetti. :)

Nurse Heidi said...

Joy, it's really tough to change a mindset about eating and I'm proud of you for sticking to it! I'm a big time sweet tooth girl, and I firmly believe in doing a dessert right. None of this fat free Splenda nonsense. So I've had to learn to simply moderate things. When I make treats, I promptly give most of them away because I know that I don't have the self control to not scarf the whole pan.

I also make sure I eat 5 servings of fruits and veggies per day no matter what. And drink 2 liters of water. No matter what. Then if I have some other little slip ups, it's not so bad. I don't run screaming from pasta - that's actually a staple in our house - but I do use the Barilla Plus kind that comes in the yellow box. It's got a great nutritional punch to it without being oddly dense and wheaty.

Over the past 7 weeks I've been in a challenge with some friends. I don't particularly need to lose weight, but I need the accountability to not go hog wild during the holidays and gain five pounds like I usually do. One week we had a no sugar at all challenge. It was honestly really hard for me. So the next week I kinda binged on it. And man, I felt sick. Just one week without it and my body already could tell the difference.

Keep it up - it's worth it! And no, you don't have to give up tasty things to eat well.