Being Sick While My Husband Is Away, Day 4

I’m living in a bit of a fog, I realized, as I took a new trash bag out to line the garbage can and almost tried to line the pot on the stove with it instead. I’m not the sickest I’ve ever been in my life, but as for being miserable? Probably top three.

I’m constantly trying to calculate when it would be safe to take more DayQuil/NyQuil/ibuprofen without damaging my liver….counting out the hours, wishing that I could take it every two hours instead of every four to six. I’m making tons of hot tea, sucking on cough drops and sore throat capsules, downing water, dropping off Ryley at school, driving home to collapse in bed for six hours, driving back to pick up Ryley from school, overseeing homework, loading Ryley up on vitamins to keep her from getting sick, trying to remember to be the adult -- when all I really want to do is just sleep. And I don’t seem to be getting better. The doctor diagnosed me with Strep, but the symptoms seem to be all over the map.

I finally hung up on a telemarketer this morning because I couldn’t get my voice to work. They couldn’t understand if I was the “lady of the house” or a squeaky child.

I had promised Ryley she could sleep with me in our big bed while Daddy was away. But I got sick on the second day, so after the first night she returned to her own bed. Poor girl. She hasn’t had hugs or kisses in days. She is keeping her distance….extremely fearful of “throwing up,” that one. I explained that this isn’t that kind of illness…In fact, I would gladly throw up and be done with it than deal with this. But regardless, she should stay as far away as she can.

More than anything, I just want my husband to come home. And right now that’s looking like Sunday afternoon – or Saturday morning if we can play our cards right and get his flight changed. We just miss him…his manliness…his firmness…his balance in this household of weepy girls, dog included.

I feel ridiculously codependent right now.

I am a strong, independent woman. Truly, I am. :-) I’m just sick.

And mothers don’t get to be sick. I have new appreciation for single moms and military moms. Or moms with multiple children. It’s hard to manage a household when you can’t think straight…when fever is fogging up your brain and the days start to run together. But we plug on anyway.

And I’m counting down the hours til Ryan gets home and all is right in our little world again.